


Parks and Cars

by SuperTramp67



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bromance, F/F, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Self-Harm, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-04-18
Packaged: 2018-03-22 09:40:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3724126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperTramp67/pseuds/SuperTramp67
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel Novak is starting his first day at yet another school. He meets Dean Winchester and they become good friends in a short amount of time. They are there for each other at all times and help each other through hard times, even if they don't know it. In the end they have to choose between each other and others. Then at the very end, they have to choose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The first day for the fifth time.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fan fic which I'm very excited about. I've never really written anything but school papers before so all feedback and criticism is welcome!

“Are you excited?”

“Hrrmmmppp.”

“Whoa there, hold back on the enthusiasm!” Gabe said with a smirk as he turned into the parking lot. Cas rolled his eyes and straightened up his reclined chair in the passenger seat. “Hey, At least it’s the last time, Three years at one school? That’ll be a new record.”

“If this is the last time then I’m a giraffe.” Cas remarked as he poked at the two inch tall plastic blue and green dinosaur sitting in the vent on the dash.

Gabe pulled into a parking spot about thirty feet away from the school entrance and turned off the ignition. “Come on Cas, this place isn't so bad. There’s lots of cool people here. I’ll even introduce you to some of my friends if you’d like. I’m sure they’d like to meet my little sister.” Gabe waggled his eyebrows.

“Noooooo thanks. I can handle this all on my own dickwad.” It was the first day of school of his tenth grade year. Cas and his family had always moved around a lot for his dads work making this the fifth school he’s attended. They hadn't just moved but the last school he went to was only up to junior high. Now he was to go to the same school as his older brother Gabriel, New Richmond High School. It was the only school in the small town of New Richmond. Cas felt like he was in redneck territory.

“Whatever, Just don’t go around making me look bad Cassy.” Gabe and Cas both jumped out of their ‘77 yellow Chevy truck and locked the doors.

“Don’t call me that.” Cas growled as he threw his backpack over one shoulder.

“Whatever you say. Class is out at two twenty, I’ll see ya then here at the car Cassy.” Gabe said with a wink and walked off to the school entrance.

As Cas made his way across the parking lot he watched all the other students gathered in their groups of friends that they’d known since kindergarten. A flicker of jealousy sparked in his gut. He didn't have the luxury of having friends that he’d know his entire life. After all, his closest and oldest friend lived in Germany. They only saw each other once every two or three years.

The entrance of the school was littered with students. Well, the back entrance, that’s where they all gathered in the morning before the bell rung. Just inside were big glass walls separating the hall from the lunch room. Cas walked in deciding which table to sit at for the next five minutes before classes were supposed to start. He settled with leaning against lunch room side of the glass wall and watching the other students debating which ones he thought he’d get along with.

“You know you can talk to me about this stuff! Whenever things get really bad call me! I’m not going to let you keep doing this to yourself!” Cas Turned his head in the direction of the concerned voice. There was a cute shorter girl with long red hair and glasses looking in his direction talking to a guy just taller than him. He could only see the back of his head.

“Would you quiet down Charlie! Jeez, I don’t need the whole school to hear you fuss over nothing!” Cas could hear the taller boy plead.

“Nothing!? You call this nothing??” The shorter girl, Charlie, grabbed the boys wrist giving Cas a glimpse of his arm revealing cut marks that looked too uniform to be made by a cat. Cas thought that he could actually see the word “LOVE” formed from the markings.

The boy jerked his arm away from Charlie pulling his sleeves down. “I’m not talking about this right now.” He turned giving Cas a good look at his face. The boy(more a man then a boy) had short blonde hair. His eye’s shone a bright green and he had a jawline like no ones he’d ever seen before. The boys eye’s glanced over Cas’ for a second, jerking back almost instantly, holding his gaze. A flash of unexpected alarm hit Cas right in the gut. He wasn’t expecting the boy to look so flawless. Cas felt his cheeks start to redden and shifted his weight uneasily to his left leg. After what felt like an hour he thought about approach the other boy and say hello when the bell rang. The boy pulled his gaze away grabbing his things and walk out of the lunch room off to class. Cas did the same.

First period was gym class. His coach was Miss. Bazinet whom everyone just call Miss. Baz. The only thing they did was take shirt size’s for the gym uniform and then everyone went to their own little groups to talk for the rest of the period. Cas sat up against the bleachers by himself. He went into his bag to find his camera.

“Are you new here?” There was a short petite blonde girl wearing jean shorts and a purple frilly shirt standing in front of him with a very inviting smile on her face.

“Uh, yeah.” was all he responded with.

“I’m Victoria Booker.” She said with an outstretched hand. “You can call me Vicky.”

“Um, Castiel Novak.” Cas shook her hand.

“Castiel?” Vicky asked with an expression of ‘are you bullshitting me right now’ on her face.

“Cas for short.” He grinned at her.

She smiled and grabbed his bag. “Alright Castiel, come over here and I’ll introduce you to some of my friends.

He followed her to the other side of the gym where two guys and three girls sat in a deformed circle.

“Alright, you owe me five bucks.” A pale scrawny boy with dark hair and blue eyes said to the pudgy one with a curly blonde afro.

“Whatever, it was an off chance anyway.” The boy with the afro handed five dollars in nickels over.

“Really? Nickels?” The Dark haired boy said in frustration as he tried to fit them in his pocket. “I’ll be clinking around all day.” Afro boy chuckled to himself.

“Okay!” Vicky exclaimed. “What did you bet on this time?”

“They were betting that he would ignore you because you’re not cool enough for him.” One of the girls remarked.

“Hay now! I am totally cool! people love me.”

“Exactly what I said.” The dark haired boy winked at her.

Vicky sent him a warning glare. Turning to Cas she said “Everyone Castiel, Castiel, Everyone.”

“Uh, you can call me Cas.”

“I’m Daniel.” The blonde boy with the afro replied.

“Zack.”

“Hannah.”

“Anna.”

“And I’m Grace. The only one who’s got any style around here.” They all started laughing mockingly at Grace as she held her head up high. The rest of the class they talked about their schedules and which teachers they liked and disliked.

The next four periods went by in a flash and then it was lunch time. Cas walked into the glass walled room to find Vicky waving him down to sit with her, Zack, and Grace. “So how’s the day going?” They all asked in unison.

“Jinx!”

“Double jinx!”

Cas laughed at their playfulness as he sat down. “It’s okay, kinda boring. What’s up with the spanish teacher?”

“Mrs. Davis?” Vicky jumped in. “Yah, she’s kinda crazy. She tries to get each class lesson in in the first ten minutes and then just sits on her computer the rest of the time. I’m pretty sure she’s the first person out of the school at the end of the day.”

“She tried to get me to stand in front of the class and introduce myself by telling everyone my life story.” Cas said as he pulled an apple out of his bag.

“Ha! Yah, she does that to the new kids.” Zack replied.

“She makes me feel awkward, and believe me, nobody makes me feel awkward.” Grace said as she stuffed her face full of grapes.

“It’s true, She’s like a stone.” Daniel sat his tray next to Cas’.

The Cafeteria was starting to fill up now with students and noise. “Is that all you’re eating?” Vicky looked at Cas.

“Thats the plan.” Cas said as he took a bite from his apple.

“Here.” Vicky shoved two dollars and fifty cents in his hand. “Go buy yourself a real lunch.”

“Thanks Vicky, but I don’t want to spend your money.” He held his hand out to return the coins.

“What? is my money not good enough for you? Come on I insist! Think of it as a New Richmond welcoming present.”

Cas looked at the coins and back at Vicky. “Fine.” He stood up bringing his half eaten apple with him to the lunch line. By this time almost everyone had gotten in line for lunch leaving Cas at the very back. It would be at least a fifteen minute wait. He was about to go back and sit down instead of waiting for the line when the blonde haired green eyed boy walked into the lunch room with that same red head from this morning. They laughed and walked together with their hands in their pockets. When they reached what must have been their table about fifteen feet away, Charlie sat down. The boy kept walking towards the line.

When he finally lifted his eyes from the ground and saw Cas, there was a look of alarm on his face. Cas turned away to hide his own alarm. The blonde hesitated for a second before continuing on and standing next to Cas against the wall. Cas decided he would just keep his head low and wait in silence.

“I haven’t seen you around here before, are you new to New Richmond?” The boys voice was gravelly, but at the same time smooth and deep. It made Cas shiver.

“Uh, um, yah.” Cas looked up to see the boy leaning with his right shoulder against the wall and standing on his right foot with the left crossed in front of it. Only about two feet away, Cas could see freckles on the bridge of his nose and the green in his eyes reminded him of new spring grass. “First day at um, a new school.” Cas stumbled over his words not sure what to say to the green eyed boy.

“Dean, Dean Winchester.” Dean held out his hand in greeting and Cas shook it.

“Castiel Novak.” Cas said with a more steady voice this time.

Dean smiled. “Castiel huh? Thats a name I’ve never heard before. What is that, French?”

“Uh, no.” Cas chuckled. “It’s biblical. My parents are kind of religious. This is actually going to be the first public school I’ve ever attended.”

“Really? Oh man, get ready for the corruption.” Dean laughed as he placed a hand on Cas’ shoulder. “Kids here are crazy, by the end of the month you’ll be very... lets say educated, compared to your average Catholic school boy.”

Cas couldn’t help but concentrate on the warmth coming from Deans hand. It made his skin tingle. He looked down at it and back up at Dean. Dean lifted his hand with an awkward smile. “So.” He coughed. “Why are you all of a sudden going to a public school?”

“Private schools are too expensive. Besides, my brother Gabriel goes here. He’s in twelfth grade.”

“Oh hay I know him. He’s that funny crazy short guy right?” Dean’s face kinda scrunched up in thought. “You two are brothers? Talk about getting the better end of the gene pool…” his voice trailed off.

“What was that?”

“Hm? Oh, nothing.” Dean kept staring at him with a grin that made Cas smile. They continued through the line grabbing their pre-made trays of cheese burgers with some sort of broccoli and cheese mush. “Well I’ll see you around then! maybe we could hang out sometime at a football game or something.”

“Yah, sure. See ya around.” Cas watched him walk away to his table. The way Dean smiled at him left his spine tingling as he made his way to his seat.

“Alright. What angel did you meet in the lunch line?” Vicky was looking up at Cas with a smirk.

He sat down next to her and Daniel. “Excuse me?”

“Oh nothing, I just haven’t seen someone smile like that since Anna fell in love with Ezra from Pretty Little Liars.”

“Ezra is bae, thank you very much.” Anna stated with a flick of her wrist from across the table.

Vicky rolled her eyes looking back at Cas. “Come on, spill it. Who are you crushin on?”

Cas could feel his cheeks burning from embarrassment. “I’m not crushing on anyone!”

“Then why are you smiling so hard?” Daniel turned putting one elbow on the table and the other on Cas’ seat back leaning in interrogatingly close.

Cas tried to think of something to cover him. He had never told anybody that he liked guys before and wasn't about to give it away to a bunch of people he’d just met. “Uh, I was laughing at a joke someone told me a couple days ago!”

“What joke?”

Great, why couldn't he have just said that he thought someone’s hair looked funny or that their was a wardrobe malfunction he was cracking up about.

“Well?” Vicky and Daniel asked in unison.

“Um… Why is six afraid of seven?” The pitch of his voice raised nearing the end of the question making it painfully obvious that he was lying. Vicky and Daniel both eye balled him suspiciously.

“Fine, don’t tell us. We’ll find out sooner or later. And when we do, you won’t hear the end of it.” Vicky smiled mischievously as if she had some big plan. After that they shut up about it which Cas was thankful for.

At the end of the lunch period Cas had his Chemistry class. He didn’t know where the classroom was so he had to ask one of the english teachers how to get there. It’s turned out that there is actually a science wing to the school and you have to walk through one of two long hallways to get to. Cas didn't bother rushing there on time once the bell had already wrung. When he did get to the classroom it was filled with noise and kids just hanging out and having fun. No one even noticed him walk in late. There were black topped tables every couple of feat that could seat two people each, in three rows. There was one large table about ten feet long littered with beakers tools and a couple of what looked like on going experiments in the back of the lab. In the front of the room there was a tall man with greying hair who was pulling a seating chart up on the projector. On the chalkboard ‘Mr. Crowley’ was written out.

“Alright children of the corn! Calm down and find your seats!” Cas was surprised by how well all the students listened without protest. He found his name on the board at a table by himself in the middle back of the classroom and sat down. Within a minute everyone was seated and facing front. “Good afternoon everyone. Happy first day of school. What is this? Most of you are in grade ten correct?” Multiple students responded with a “Yes Sir.” “As most of you know, I am Mr. Crowley.” He pointed to his name written in chalk. “Who here is new to my class?” Six student’s raised their hands including Cas. “Fantastic! Anyone new to New Richmond?” Cas was the only one who raised his hand. “Ah! And what’s your name?” Mr. Crowley gave Cas a welcoming look as every head in the class turned their attention on him.

“Castiel Novak.”  
“Novak? You wouldn’t have the misfortune of being related to Gabriel would you?” He said with a mockingly worried look in his eyes.

Cas chuckled. “Uh yeah, he’s my older brother.”

Mr. Crowley's expression changed to a joyous one. “Ah! Wonderful, he’s one of my crazies- I mean best! students.” The entire class laughed in unison including Cas.

“Yah, he’s a character alright.” Cas couldn’t help but like Mr. Crowley and his sense of humor.

“Well Castiel, if you ever need anything feel free to ask and I’ll do what I can to help you out. Okay everybody! Shall we get straight to the syllabus?” There was an unwelcoming groan that came from the majority of the students. “Yah, yah, I know it’s near the end of the day and you’ve already gotten five other ones but it’ll only take a couple--”

“Hey Pat! Sorry I’m late!” Cas looked up at the entrance to find Dean Winchester walk in with a grin on his face.

“Dean.” Mr. Crowley looked at him with a stern face. “You address me as Mr. Crowley, not by my first name.” Dean put on a comical look of apologetic guilt. Cas could feel his skin start to spark with excitement just from seeing Dean again. “Also, I don’t have you down as part of this class.”

“Just had my schedule changed out of biology and into here. You didn’t think you could get away from being my teacher this year did you?” Dean peep up at Mr. Crowley

“No, but a man can dream can’t he?” Mr. Crowley shot back, earning another laugh from the class. “It’s great to have you Dean. Go ahead and take a seat next to Mr. Novak in the back, he’s a new student so try not to scare him off?”

Dean looked towards the back of the class locking eyes with Cas. His stomach started to flutter. Was that a hint of excitement in his eyes? “I’ll do my best.” Dean said without taking his eyes off Cas. “No promises.” Dean walk to the back of the classroom and sat down on Cas’ right side.

Mr. Crowley grabbed a pile of papers off the front table and started handing them out. “Alright everybody, you have to read and sign…”

“Long time no see.” Dean turned in his seat to face Cas.

“Thirty minutes is about one forty-eighth of a house flies life span Dean.” Cas was impressed by how normal he was able to act at the moment. He felt a hint of pride when dean laughed at his comment.

“Hm.”

“What?”  
“I don’t know, thats just the first time I’ve heard you say my name.” Cas glanced up at him questioningly. “It just sounds different than usual.” They both stared at one another for a second waiting for the other to break the silence.

“Here are your syllabus’ boys.” Mr. Crowley handed them each a sheet of paper. “Is he bothering you already Mr. Novak?” He gave Dean an accusing stare.

Cas leaned back in his chair putting his hands behind his head. “Nah, he’s not bothering me.”

“Hey, I’m just making friendly conversation Pat.” Dean raised his hands up in a defencive way.

“Dean.”

“Mr. Crowley, my bad.”

Mr Crowley looked back at Cas. “If he starts to bother you let me know and I’ll have him clean the sinks.” He finished off with a wink.

“Oh, well in that case.” A mischievous grin grew on Cas’ face.

“Hey! I’m trying to be nice here!” Dean defended himself.

“All right, All right. You two calm down and behave.” Mr. Crowley walked off to the next table and continued handing out papers.

Dean and Cas continued to laugh for a couple seconds as he walked away. “You know, you’re not half bad Castiel. I mean before I was saying maybe we could hang out sometime to be friendly to the new kid but now I’m thinkin we could actually be good friends.”

Cas felt like he could be more than good friends with Dean but he wasn’t about to go ahead and say it. He didn’t even know if Dean was into guys at all. He seemed to be a popular, good looking stud with lots of friends that everybody liked. It definitely didn’t look like he was about to be coming out of any kind of closet to be judged and thrown to the bottom of the food chain at school.

They spent the rest of the class kind of ignoring the syllabus talk and just getting to know each other. “Yah, I have a little brother, Sammy, who goes to the middle school next door. He’s a bit of a genius. What about you? Any siblings besides your goof of a brother?”

“Yah um, I’m the youngest of four. I have two older sisters who are in college. The oldest is Michelle and then Luci. They live together in the city.”

They continued to talk about how Cas has moved around his whole life and where he lived including Canada, The Philippines and Australia. Dean couldn’t believe all the experiences and things Cas had gotten to see in his short life.

“Wow! Thats incredible! I’ve been stuck in butt fuck Ohio my entire life. I would love to go traveling and see what’s out there.” Dean said with wide excited eyes.

Cas just laughed to himself.

“What?”

He looked at Dean for a second. “Don’t get me wrong, travelling my entire life has been amazing. It’s just. It sucks having to leave everybody you know over and over again. I’d give anything to have just one or two friends that I’d know since kindergarten. Hell, my oldest friend is someone I’ve only known for six years and now he lives in Germany. I only get to see him every couple of years for a week or two.”

“Oh, well I guess I’ve never really thought of that…” Dean held an expression that almost looked guilty. “The majority of my friends I have known since kindergarten.”

“Don’t feel bad for me, I’ve been spoiled to hell my entire life. You’re the one who’s been stuck in butt fuck Ohio all of yours.” Cas joked.

The bell rung for class to be over.

“What’s your next period?”

Cas looked at his schedule. “Algebra.”

“Damn, I have English. Well I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then. Meet me in the cafeteria in the morning.”

“Sure thing! Until then”

*******************************

Over the next couple of month Dean and Cas started hanging out together in school, after school and even the weekends. It became known to everyone fairly quickly that they were the best of friends and inseparable. If you were hanging out with Cas, then Dean was there too. If you invited Dean to a party, you were inviting Cas as well. Dean would always be invited to Cas’ family dinners and Cas would always be invited to Deans.

After the first two weeks of school Dean came over to sit at Cas’ table about half way through lunch. When he join’d there was a look of interest and surprize between everyone else. Zack leaned over and whispered something into Vicky’s ear making her turn her face to try and hide a laugh. Later Cas asked them about it and they told him it was just strange that someone as cool and popular as Dean Winchester to be sitting with them at lunch.

One saturday night after a big party at a kids house that neither of them really knew Dean was driving them both home in his dads impala. Cas didn’t really feel like going home yet.

“Hey you wanna just go hang out somewhere for a little bit, I don’t feel like dealing with Gabe right now.”

Dean looked over at Cas with a bit of question in his eyes. “Yah, sure man. Where ya thinking?”

“I don’t know, how bout the park?”

“The park? Really?”

“Well if you hadn’t noticed it’s already twelve thirty and nothings open. If you have any suggestions let me know.” Cas shot back.

“Yah whatever smart ass.” Dean said with a grin.

When they arrived at the park Dean parked and turned off the car leaving the music on. Simon and Garfunkel were singing The Sound of Silence on the radio.

“So whats up?”

“Do you mind if I lean the seat back down?” Cas asked.

Dean looked at the impala’s front seat which was one big piece. It only laid back as a whole. “Yah I guess.”

They leaned the seat back and laid there looking at the ceiling for a minute just listening.

_In restless dreams I walked alone_  
_Narrow streets of cobblestone,_  
_'Neath the halo of a street lamp,_  
_I turned my collar to the cold and damp_  
_When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light_  
_That split the night_  
_And touched the sound of silence._

Eventually Dean broke the silence. “Hey, what’s up with you man?”

Cas had been thinking about how quickly he’d adjusted to New Richmond. These couple of months had gone by so fast and had been surprisingly great.

“I hope I don’t have to move away again.”

“Have your parents been talking about moving again?”

“No, I’ve just been surprised how awesome it’s been here. Usually when I start at a new school I just try to keep to myself so that when we do move, I’m not really leaving anything behind. Now here, it’s only been just over two months and I already have so many friends, no thanks to you.” Cas grind.

“Then don’t.”

Cas turned to face Dean. “What?”

“Don’t move. Next time you’re parents want to haul you off somewhere don’t go with them.” Dean said very nonchalantly.

“Oh yah? What am I supposed to do then? Go live at a homeless shelter?”

“Come live with me. My folks won’t mind.”

Cas started laughing. “I don’t think I’d be able to stand living with your high maintenance self but thanks for the offer.”

Dean sat up in his seat. “I’m not high maintenance! I just like to make sure I look good when I walk out the door.”

“Standing in front of the mirror every morning for thirty minutes making sure every hair on your head is in the right spot qualifies as high maintenance.”

“You just don’t appreciate this perfection like everyone else.” Dean said Leaning back again. “I’m serious though, if that time comes again I’m here for you. I’m not quite ready for you to leave anyway.”

“Thanks Dean.” They gave each other a long meaningful look that left Cas feeling safe inside. He thought to himself about the irony of Deans previous statement. Over the time that he’d spent being friends with Dean he’d become more and more infatuated with him. There was no denying it. But he also didn’t want to screw anything up between the two of them and how strong their friendship was, so he never said or did anything that would make it obvious.

They laid in the car listening to music until Cas looked at his phone and realized that it was already two in the morning.

“Shit, I need to get home.” Cas sat up with a rush.

“Why? What tim- Shit!” Dean sat up putting the seat back up at the same time. He turned on the ignition and started backing up out of the parking stall. “My dads gonna kill me if he find’s out I’m getting home this late!”

Dean drove off spinning the tires leaving burn marks on the pavement. When they got to Cas’ house all the lights were off. He jumped out of the impala making sure he had his wallet.

“Alright, see ya! Try not to get into trouble!”

“Kay, I’m going to be busy with homework tomorrow so I’ll see ya on Monday.”

“Kay, until then Dean.” Cas gave Dean a bit of a solute.

“Till then.”


	2. The Fast and the Breathless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so this chapter turned out to be much longer than I'd originally expected. Sorry it's taken so long to finish it! Enjoy!

Cas leaned over, touching the platform he stood on with his hands, knees bent, head down. 

*Inhale deeply*

He lifted his head with anticipation. 

*Exhale deeply*

Cas closed his eyes.

*Inhale deeply*

BZZZZZZZZZZZ!

Cas jumped of the platform and dove into the water.

three… two… one… now!

He broke through the surface of the water with a rush, taking in a gulp of air. Using all his strength Cas swam front crawl through the water with expert technique. He could hear cheering and screaming every time he turned his head for another breath. Reaching the wall Cas did a summersault in the water and kicked off. He pulled the water with each stroke until his arms burned and kicked till his legs went numb. Looking forward through his goggles Cas saw the wall again, flipped, and pushed off. Halfway there. Everytime he took a breath he could see his competitor racing beside him. One last flip in the water. They were neck in neck with less than forty meters to go. Cas kept pushing, resisting from taking a breath to keep up his maximum speed. Fifteen meters left. He could still see the other swimmer challenging him for the win. Five meters. His vision was starting to blur. Zero meters. Cas felt his fingertips touch the pad on the wall. He lifted his head out of the water gasping for air.

“Cas! You won! You beat Cole!”

He looked up to see Vicky looking down at him. Excitement bursting from her face.

Earlier on in October Vicky and the rest of his friends he sat with at lunch were talking about how excited they were getting for the swim season. Cas had never really done a sport before except play a bit of soccer when he was younger. He wasn’t going to join but they all kept pushed him until he said yes. Now it was nearing the end of the season. Turns out that he was a natural at the sport and became prodigeticly faster with each week. 

The fastest swimmer on the team was one Cole Trenton who had been dedicated to the sport his entire life. He held three separate records at the school including the two hundred meter front crawl at 1:08.76. When other students on the team started talking about Cas being a faster swimmer then Cole, he challenged Cas to a race.

“Look! You both broke his old record but you beat him by point seven seconds!” He looked over at the time board to see it read 1:07.80 in Coles lane and 1:07.10 in his. Pulling himself out of the water Cas received a big hug from Vicky. He stumbled when she let go from the little oxygen he’d allowed himself in the race. He could still see stars.

Zack caught him from behind. “Dude, you gonna be okay?”

Cas grabbed onto the platform he’d jumped off of to steady himself. “Yeah, just give me a second.”

People were still cheering for him when he looked over at Cole. He was still in the water looking at the times in disbelief. Cas walked over to him in the water reaching out with his hand. “Wow Cole, I think you just about killed me with that race.”

Cole eyed Cas’ hand debating whether to ignore his friendly offer with bitterness or take it and congratulate him. Cas held his hand there waiting for him to make a decision hoping for the latter. Cole looked at the time board one more time before reaching up and grabbing his hand. Cas pulled him out of the water. 

“I guess I have more motivation than to just beat my own times now.” Cole said with a smile. 

As Cas was turning around to go back to his group of friends, coach Harvelle called everyone's attention. “Alright ladies, thats it for todays practice. All we have left this season is regionals this Sunday. Okay, this is the big one. Our team hasn’t been this far in six years so make sure you rest up and get ready to kick some ass.” All the swimmers were bubbling with excitement. Regionals were the highest level teams could get to until swimmers would be singularly picked out to continue to State and so on. “Everyone has to be here at seven o’clock sharp. The bus will be leaving at ten after, if you miss it then you’ll have to get your own ride.” Everyone groaned at the early time set to leave. “Castiel, you did good today. I haven’t seen a swimmer as talented as you since I swam in high school.” 

Cas and the rest of the students laughed at her remark. “Thanks coach.”

“Alright. I’ll see all of you on Sunday.”

*******************

“Cassy thats wonderful. I’m so happy that you’re doing so well in swimming.”

It was Friday night at the Novaks house after Cas had his big win against Cole Trenton. Gabe, Dean, and his parents were all there getting ready to have super. His mother Lily was finishing up her homemade chicken supreme. The intoxicating smell filled the kitchen making Cas’ mouth water. Ever since he joined the swim team his appetite was never ending. Gabe sat on a bar stool up against the island in the kitchen with Dean while his Father Joseph sat at the table with a glass of wine in his hand. 

“Mom, please don’t call me that. I’m not ten anymore. Is it really that difficult to say Cas or Castiel?” Cas’ face didn’t hold back any annoyance. 

Lily rolled her eyes at him. “Cas is just so plain. And Castiel sounds so formal, it makes me feel like I’m yelling at you.”

Cas put his face in his hands with a groan.

“I doesn’t matter what you do Cassy, you’ll always be the baby of the family.” Gabe teased as he tossed M&M’s in his mouth.

Dean started to laugh. “I wonder if Sam will ever grow out of me calling him Sammy?” Dean said thinking out loud. “I guess he’ll just have to deal with it like you Cassy.” Dean winked at him.

“I hate all of you.”

“Okay boys! Supper is ready, go ahead and take a seat at the table.” Lily placed the chicken supreme on the table and sat down beside Joseph who was reaching for a taste when she slapped his hand. “Grace first.” She said with a stern face. 

Cas sat in between Dean and his mother.

“Hold hands.” Lily told them even though everyone knew to do it. Cas said grace along with everyone else at the table but all he could think about was how much he liked the feeling of Deans hand in his. They’d been best friends for almost five months now and he still hadn’t told him he was gay. The only person who knew was Vicky. 

Each year the swim team would go on a ski trip around christmas. As Vicky and Cas were riding up a lift Cas told her. She had become his closest friend besides Dean. And well, he couldn’t tell Dean.

“What are you thinking about?” Vicky asked after the situated themselves on the chair. 

“Hm?” Cas said obliviously. 

“Come on, you know what I’m talking about. You’ve been acting strange all night and I’m getting tired of waiting for you to tell me on your own. Spill it.” Vicky was looking at him in a way that let him now he wasn’t getting out of this.

“Actually, there is something…” he could feel heat crawling up the back of his neck.

“Well??”

Cas still hesitated. “I um…”

“Oh my god you have a crush on me don’t you.” Vicky said with sudden knowing in her eye’s. “I knew this was going to happen.” She put a hand over her forehead dramatically. “Look Cas, you’re cute, but I’m just not into you that way. We could still be friends though.” There was a growing smirk on her face.

“Yah you wish!” Cas shot back at her, thankful that she was trying to lift the mood. “No it’s something else… I uh, I’m gay.” Cas said with a flinch. He’d never heard himself say those words before.

Vicky’s smirk grew to a huge smile when he looked at her. “I knew it! There was no way a guy as perfect as you was going to be into girls!” She said with an overwhelming amount of joy. 

“You’re not mad?” Surprize was radiating off of Cas, along with relief.

“Mad? Why would I be mad? You do know that I’m bi right?” Vicky said, almost offended. 

Lights started going off in Cas’ head. He’d seen her winking and throwing lines at other girls at school but for some reason never made the connection. “You know, that actually explains alot…” He laughed about how scared he was to tell Vicky not five minutes ago. 

“You’re not very observant are you?” Vicky’s face went from teasing to excited in half a second. “WAIT!” This time the lights were going off in her head. “DO YOU LIKE-”

“SSHHH” Cas clapped his hand over her mouth. She pulled down on it with both arms.

“Do you like Dean?!” This time it was in a hushed voice.

Cas could feel his cheeks redden instantly. “Uh…” Cas started to panic.

“You do!” Vicky’s eye’s widened with joy. “This is so exciting! Does he like you back? I can’t wait to talk to Anna about this. Are you going to ask him out?”

Cas covered her mouth again just to get her to stop talking. “Nobody else knows! You’re the only person I’ve told. And no he doesn’t know, and he can’t know.”

“I’m the first person you’ve told?” Vicky looked as though she was about to cry with happiness. “I feel so special!” 

“Yeah, yeah, but you can’t tell anybody okay.” Cas could see the seriousness of his face reflecting from her eye’s. 

She started to calm down with a bit of disappointment. “You’re not going to tell Dean?”

“No! I can’t.” Cas’ voice was a bit more harsh than he’d meant to make it. “Look. Dean is my best friend-”

“I thought I was your best friend!”

“Ugh! Whatever! Dean is my best friend - besides you - and I’m not going to risk losing that because of this.” Vicky stared at him with a hint of understanding in her eye’s. “I don’t even know if he likes guys okay! And I don’t know about you, but it seems to me that he is one of the most heterosexual guys I’ve ever met.”

“You never know! After all you didn’t know that I’m bi and I never tried to hide it for a second.”

Cas shot her a sideways grin. “I’d rather you didn’t try to give me hope for something that will probably never happen.”

Vicky lowered her head. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Ever since then Vicky would send him a shit eating grin whenever Dean was around and drop lose comments that kept Cas on edg. Every once in a while Dean would give him a strange look.

“Amen!”

The unison of voices brought Cas back to the dinner table. He let go of Dean’s hand. 

“So Dean, how are John and Mary doing?” Lily asked as she dished herself some rice.

“Great as always Mrs. Novak.” Dean was always overly polite around his friends parents. Especially Cas’.

“Please Dean, call me Lily.” 

“Of course Mrs. Novak.” He said with a bow of his head. 

Joseph chuckled. “Hey boys, your sisters are coming down for the weekend. Oh, and they’re going the your meet on Sunday Castiel.” Cas was excited that his sisters were going to be there for his swim meet. Cas wasn’t a very competitive person, but he always had the ambition to impress his sisters. 

“How is it I haven’t met your sisters yet? I’m only here like all the time.” Dean mumbled through a mouth full of food while gesturing with his fork. “This is delicious Mrs. Novak.”

“Lily.”

“Right.” Dean smiled at her.

“It’s because they only come home when they need to do laundry or run out of food.” Gabe told Dean.

“Thats not true, they come home plenty.” Lily said in their defence. “They were here last weekend too.”

“Yeah, because they needed to use the sewing machine, which if I recall correctly you ended up fixing their clothes for them.” Gabe pointed his fork at his mother.

“They sound lovely.” Dean commented.

Cas smiled as he took a piece of chicken and snuck it to his cat, Thursday, under the table. “Yeah, they’re something. When are they getting here?” 

“They should be here right about-”

“Hello!” Cas could hear Luci’s voice ring through the garage door.

“Speak of the devil!” Gabriel said with a huge grin.

Luci walked in with Michelle right behind her. Both of them were shorter than Gabriel and Cas. Michelle was the oldest. Her and Cas were always told that they looked almost like twins. They both had their mothers dark hair and their fathers sky blue eyes. Luci looked just like their dad with blue eyes and blonde hair. Gabe was kind of the odd one out with his light brown hair. Although he was the only one who had his mothers hazel green eye’s. 

They walked around the table giving everybody hugs from behind. Cas had always been blessed with having one of those apple pie family’s. None of them had grudges against each other and they all genuinely liked one another. It’s not like they never had arguments, they just knew how to work out their differences. 

Michelle was about to lean down and give Dean a hug from behind. “Wait, I don’t remember having a third brother.”

“Michelle, Luci, this is my friend Dean from school.” Cas said with a gesture of his hand.

Dean stood up out of his seat, towering over the both of them holding his hand out. “Dean Winchester.”

“Hello.” Cas could hear both of them from behind him with a little more interest in their voices then he found comfortable. It must have shown on his face because Gabe lost it and inhaled the water he was drinking turning into a coughing mess. 

“How are you lovely ladies doing tonight?” Dean’s friendliness made Cas’ face split.

Michelle took a step closer to Dean. “You’re in Cassy’s grade? I would’ve thought that you were at least a senior.” She started playing with her hair. Looking up Cas could see his parents laughing to themselves as his sisters flirted with his best friend.

“How does a guy as pretty as you end up friends with someone like our little Cassy?” Luci asked.

“Alright! Thanks for supper Mom but Dean and I have some studying to do.” Cas stood up abruptly grabbing Deans arm and dragging him across the room.

“Hay! I didn’t get to finish my food!” Dean looked longingly at his plate as Cas pulled him towards the basement door. 

“We can eat some more later if you’re really that hungry.” Cas forced Dean to walk down the stairs before him grabbing both of their bags.

“What’s wrong with you? I was only saying hello.” Dean turned to Cas when he got to the bottom of the stairs.

“Only? That was grade A flirting if I ever saw it. I don’t need you and my sisters checking each other out, that’s just gross. Especially when…” He stopped himself before telling Dean the secret he’d managed to keep for the past five months.

“Especially when what?” Deans face kinda lit up in a strange way that confused him a bit.

“Nothing. There doesn’t have to be an especially because they’re my sister which means you’re not allowed to flirt with them.” Cas waited hoping that he wouldn’t push to find out what he almost said.

“I don’t know man, Michelle’s quite a cutie.” Dean teased. Cas gave Dean his best ‘if you flirt with my sister then I’m going to murder you and feed you to my cat’ face. “Fine. I won’t flirt with your sisters, relax.” Cas finally started to calm down and sat down on his L shaped couch. “We’re not actually going to study are we?”

“Hell no.” Cas said as he handed Dean a Nintendo controller.

*******************  
When one AM rolled around they turned off the TV and jumped on the couch with their heads meeting at the ninety degree angle. They’d slept many nights like this in the basement. Cas’ computer was open to Spotify playing Death Cab for Cutie’s album Plans.

“Why do you listen to this stuff?” Dean never failed to point out Cas’ particular taste in music.

“I guess I just like lyrics that are more poetic than ‘lock up your daughter, lock up your wife.’” He put his hands behind his head while concentrating on the red light that kept flashing on and off on the smoke detector. 

“You shut your mouth. AC/DC are gods of Rock and Roll.” Dean’s love and passion for classic rock always made Cas laugh for some reason.

For the next minute or two they just kind of lay’d there.

“You know I was thinking of coming to your meet this weekend.” 

Cas was surprised to hear Dean say this. “You haven’t been to a meet yet. Why my last one?”

“Exactly that. It’s your last one and as it turns out you’re kinda a prodigy so I though that as your best friend I should show up and cheer you on.”

Every time Dean called himself his best friend it made him depressingly happy. On the one hand he was Dean’s best friend and no one could take that from him. But on the other hand he was just that, Dean’s best friend. Nothing more.

“You just want to see all the girls in their speed suits.” Cas joked half heartedly.  
“No man, I’m serious. This is something you’ve work hard for. I want to be there for you at the end and hold you up on my shoulders when you win the first place trophy.” Dean defended himself.

“We get medals, not trophy’s.”

“Whatever! I’m trying to be serious here. I care about you okay. I want you to do well.”

Their heartfelt moments always made Cas flustered because these were the moments that really made him want to tell Dean how he really felt. How every time Dean put his arm around his shoulder Cas wished that he could turn into him for a more intimate embrace. How when the other kids at school joked about them being gay for eachother he wished that they weren’t joking. How everytime their hands brushed when they were walking too close together in the hallway all Cas wanted to do was hold it. How every time they looked at each other a little too long Cas would get lost in his eye’s until someone brought him back to reality. 

“Thanks Dean.”

*******************  
Sunday morning Cas was up at 6:00am and at the school be 7:00am. The bus left at 7:10 just like coach Harvelle said it would. He sat at the back of the bus beside Vicky. She fell asleep on his shoulder about twenty minutes into the ride. The bus arrived at Miami university just before 9:00am giving them a half hour before they had to start warm ups. The team got all their stuff settled in a gymnasium next door to the pool. After that the girls went to change into their speed suits and the boys into their jammers. By 9:15am they were in the water swimming ten two hundreds. The pool was much larger than the one at New Richmond. Instead of having four lanes, there were twelve. There was a large bleacher section on the far side of the pool that climbed up all the way to the next floor. At the top were glass doors and a balcony that wrapped around the entire room so people could watch the races from a birds eye view. About seventeen other school were there competing. Cas was quickly becoming nervous as the bleachers and balcony filled with people. Any races he’d done prior to this were a tenth the size at most. When his team was switched out so that another could warm up in the two lanes they’d occupied Cas scanned the crowds of people with Vicky to find his family and Dean. He could see his mom waving from near the top of the bleachers. His dad and sisters sat excitedly next to her while Gabe sulked against the wall probably complaining about getting up so early on a Sunday. No sign of Dean. 

The races started at 10:00am with the women’s two hundred medley relay race. Cas was in two events, the men’s two hundred freestyle and the men’s four hundred freestyle relay. The two hundred was the second event so he had about fifteen minutes before showtime.

Cas was sitting in a circle with the rest of the gang doing stretches. 

“After this we should all go out and eat our weight in Skyline.” Zack had been talking about how excited he was to eat junk food again once the season was over for the past two weeks. 

“I second this!” Grace chirped up.

“Give me your hands.” Vicky said to Cas, placing the souls of her feet againsts his. Once she had a good grip Vicky pulled Cas towards her folding him over like a lawn chair.

“AHHGHH!” Cas groaned when she forced him to stretch his hamstrings further than expected. “You know, you could warn a guy.” His face was cringed up in pain. 

“Are you nervous?” Vicky asked.

Cas hadn’t really heard her question because he was distracted by a boy and girl from another team sitting against the wall with their fingers intertwined. 

“Hello?” Vicky was impatient from Cas ignoring her.

“It’d be nice to have that.”

“Have what?” She turned her head to look at the boy and girl. “Oh.”

“Someone that’s always got your back.” He said more to himself then Vicky. “Someone who’s going to tell you that you’re the best even though it’s only really true to them. Someone who’s going to hold you up when you’re at your weakest...”

“Someone who is tall, blonde, beautiful and walking your way?” Vicky said looking over his head.

Cas turned around to see Dean coming across the gym right in his direction. He looked out of place in his everyday clothes when everyone else was in a swimsuit. Cas would be lying if he said he didn’t notice a couple heads turn and jaws drop. He’d also be lying if he said he didn’t feel his own heart race at the thought of Dean showing up just to cheer him on. 

Cas stood up and reciprocated the hug Dean gave him. “Dude you’re already wet.” Dean said as he felt his now damp shirt. Cas all of a sudden became very aware that he was only wearing his jammers and wet hair in front of the guy he had unfairly realistic sex dreams about. 

“Yah, we just had warm ups. I’m about to have my first race, my family is up at the top of the stands if you want to go sit with them.” 

“What? No, I want to be right beside the water cheering you on. I want you to hear me loud and clear when you’re under and everything sounds like gibberish.” Cas could feel heat climbing the back of his neck from how much Dean meant what he’d said the other night.

“You can stand with us if you’d like.” Vicky leaned against Dean because she knew how much it bothered Cas. Every chance she got she would flirt with the guy.

Cas could hear his event being announced. Giving Vicky a small glare he walked towards the pool. “I’ll see you guys after the race!”

Because there were so many people it required more than a single race to get all the swimmers in this single event. Cas was in the second heat of three along with Cole. They were placed in neighboring lanes.

“You ready for this Castiel?” Cole said slapping him on the back. “You better push me as much as I push you. We’re going to get first and second in this heat.” Cas just nodded his head putting on his goggles. A bit too nervous to talk. “Relax, you’ll do great. You’d better beat me or else I’m gonna kick your ass afterwards.”

“Oh yah, I’m really relaxed now.” He replied as the gunman blew the whistle for them to stand on top of their platforms. At the other end of his lane Cas could see Dean and Vicky staring him down. Pride and excitement shown on Dean’s face. He started to calm knowing that they were there for him even if he messed up horribly. 

The gunman blew the whistle again for them to get into their starting position. Anticipation was killing him. 

BANG!

The entire room exploded with noise as the twelve swimmers dove into the water. Cole and Cas pushed each other as much as they could staying neck in neck the whole first lap. On the second hundred the swimmer to Cas’ right was starting to gain a foot or two on him. He pushed himself even hard to the point where his muscles were screaming for him stop and slow down. Cole was even falling behind by a foot. When they reached the wall again all Cas wanted to do was let the other swimmer take the lead and give himself a break from going full speed ahead, and a little more. Making his last somersault in the race, Cas could see Dean and Vicky as he turned under the water leaning over the pools edge. Just like Dean had said, He could hear him yelling loud and clear over all the other cheering. 

“Come on! You’re gonna win this! I believe in you!”

I believe in you. That was all Cas needed. If Dean believed he could win he didn’t need any other motivation. Taking one more huge breath right after his flip Cas sprinted for the other end of the pool. The swimmer that was now on his left had at least a foot on him. Cole noticed Cas’ sudden acceleration and followed his lead. The adrenaline pumping through his veins turned his muscles numb and his bones light. 

Cas was now neck and neck with his nameless opponent with only ten meters to go, Cole only inches behind. Five meters. Eye’s were starting to lose focus. Now his lungs were screeching for air and he had to resist sucking in water. Mirroring his opponent in the water Cas touched the time pad with his right fingertips. Wrenching his head out of the water Cas gasped for air. While trying to hold himself up on the pool tiles everything went dark and he began to sink back into the water. He thought he could hear Dean scream his name.

**********************

Cas opened his eye to a circle of people around him. 

“Oh thank God! Don’t scare me like that man!” Dean said wiping the stress away from his face. Vicky, Coach, Cole and a bunch of other people he didn’t know were crowding around him.

“What happened?” Dean helped Cas sit up. There was a pounding in his head.

“You passed out in the water.” Coach Harvelle explained. “Coel held you up but Dean here pulled you right out of the pool. I’ve never seen anyone move so fast in my life. You were only out for about thirty seconds.”

Cas looked at Dean. He didn’t say anything, only stared at him in thanks and appreciation. Dean did the same but there was a glow in his eye’s Cas hadn’t really seen before. The closest thing he could compare it to was the way his mother looked at him after he’d almost fallen out of a tree when he was younger. 

After Cas had noticed his audience giving him weird looks he spoke up. “So the race?” He asked looking at the time board. 

“The race! Cas, you got first place by point zero seven seconds! And Cole tied the guy next to your lane for second!” Vicky exclaimed. “His names Urial. He’s not too happy about it.” She said glancing over at black boy who was fuming to his friends pointing at Cas.

The time board read 58.49 in his lane. “I took nine seconds off my time in one race?” He asked with wide eye’s.

“You sure did son. It takes a hell of a lot to make someone pass out in less than a minute.” Coach Harvelle said as she helped stand him up. 

He looked at Dean. “Well you told me you believed I could win, so I went for it.”

Cas stumbled and leaned heavily against Dean. “Sorry, I’m still light headed.” He tried to carry his own weight.

“I’ll carry you.” Dean turned so that Cas could climb on his back.

“Are, are you sure?”

“You just won a race for me and nearly killed yourself in the process. Of course I’m sure.” He motioned for him to jump on.

Cas used what little strength he had to jump. Dean huld him up with a grunt. “Dude. You need to lay off the hamburgers.” When Dean started to walk him back to the gym where his stuff was the crowds of people started cheering for Cas. “Wave, you’re a celebrity.”

Cas didn’t have the energy in him to wave, but he did spot his family and gave them a smile to show that he was okay.

In the gym Dean let him down and he sat on the floor leaning against the wall. Dean sat next to him.

“Great, now my shirts soaked.”

Cas let out a soft laugh. “You can wear mine if you’d like. It’s in my bag.”

Pulling Cas’ swimming T-shirt out of the bag Dean tore his off to make the switch. Cas didn’t try to resist watching him change. He’d had too many unfulfilled fantasies about taking Deans clothes off and caressing his skin. 

“Eh-hem.”

Cas jerked his head to see Vicky grinning at him with ‘I know what you’re thinking’ written all over her face. 

“Are you feeling better?” Dean finished changing and lay’d out his shirt to dry. 

“Yeah, I’m just really tired.” He said leaning his head back against the wall. He could already feel himself drifting to sleep.

“Go to sleep, I’ll wake you if you’re needed for anything.” Vicky offered. 

“Thanks…” Cas wasn’t sure if he actually replied.

********************

“Cas?”

When Cas woke up he could smell leather and wax. His right cheek was pressed against a soft fabric and he thought he could hear a heartbeat.

“Cas wake up.” There was a soft shake of his right leg.

He opened his eye’s to a fairly empty gym. Most of the teams had gone and the remaining one’s were hauling their things to their buses. He lifted his head from its resting spot to see that he’d been using Dean’s shoulder as a head rest. Dean was giving him a soft smile. He felt his heart jump from being so close to him. It took all his power not to lean in and kiss him right there.

“Come on, everyone’s leaving. I talked to Coach Harvelle and your parents. I’m going to drive you home kay.” Dean stood up and put all of Cas’s stuff into his bag, then helped Cas up. “You okay to walk?”

Cas tested himself before replying. “Yeah.”

Dean carried his stuff to the impala and Cas waved to his friends on the bus as they drove away. On the way home Dean told Cas how the meet had turned out. Zack had taken his place on the four hundred meter medley race. Vicky made herself a new PR for the womens five hundred. Their team had come in second place over all. Cas let Dean keep talking even though he didn’t really care about the stats of the meet. He just liked to listen to his voice. 

With Dean the car ride only felt like a thirty minute ride compared to the two hour bus ride. 

When they got home to Cas’ house it was almost six O’clock. He could hear his parents and siblings talking in the living room. When he walked in they all started cheering. When Dean walked in they all acted like God himself was in the room. 

“Look! It’s our little Cassy’s hero!” Michelle piped up.

“Great. I’m never going to hear the end of this am I?” Cas said with a groan. 

“Hey, don’t feel bad Cas.” Dean said putting his arm around his shoulders. “Every hero needs a damsel in distress.” 

Cas felt his skin tingle at the thought of being Deans ‘damsel in distress.’ He sure wouldn’t mind it.

***********************

After supper Dean said goodbye to the Novaks and went home. Cas was sitting on Luci’s bed while she talked about this guy she had started seeing.

“Are you even listening to me?”

Cas looked up from staring at a spot on the wall. “Huh?”

“Okay, who are you day dreaming about?” Luci jumped on the bed to sit next to Cas. “You’ve been hanging out in your own little world every time I’ve seen you for the past three months. I don’t understand why we haven’t talked about it yet.”

A wave of panic started to build in Cas’ chest. He didn’t know if he was ready to tell his sister he was gay and smitin’ over his best friend. 

“Well? What her name?” Luci leaned closer to Cas.

“Uh, well… I um, I’d rather not say…”

“Oh, so there is somebody?” Luci clapped her hands with excitement. “Come on! Tell me! I want to know who you’re always googly eyed over.”

“Well, they’re in my class and we hang out alot. But, well I don’t think I’m their type…” Cas trailed off.

“Not their type? Cassy, You’re everybodies type. After all, you are related to me.” Luci joked winking at her reflection in the dresser mirror.

“Ha-ha, so funny.” Cas laughed. “I’m being serious Luci.”

“Okay, I’m sorry.” she replied. “Why don’t you think you’re their type?”

Cas swallowed. “Uh, well…” Luci just sat there patiently. “Because I’m a guy…”

“Because you’re a guy? Are you in love with a lesbian or something?” Luci asked screwing up her face a bit in confusion.

“Heh… No…” Cas couldn’t bring himself to say it.

Luci sat beside him in thought. He just watched her hoping that she would figure it out on her own. Cas may not get to see Luci all that much but he’s always been able to relate to her better than Michelle and Gabriel. Luci had always been a bit of a rebel (not that Cas had ever been one to get into trouble) but they both liked to party, dance, drink, smoke and do semi illegal things together when there was no one to yell at them for it. Michelle and Gabriel were more straight shooters. So Cas had decided that she would be the first of his family that he’d tell about his big secret.

Luci continued to think about what he was saying until she looked constipated. “Well don’t hurt yourself.” he told her.

“Come on! Just tell me what’s going on!” Luci begged.

“Luci, I don’t like girls… I’m gay.” 

Luci’s jaw fell open. “What! Since when?”

“Uhh, forever I guess.” Cas thought. “I’ve never liked girls so… You’re not mad are you?”

Luci’s expression changed from excitement to sympathetic. “No Cassy. I would never be mad because you’re gay. You haven’t told mom and dad have you?”

“No! Are you crazy! Actually, you’re the second person I’ve told. The first was my friend Vicky.”

“I can’t believe I have a gay brother…” Luci said to herself.

“Yeah well, believe it. And that person I’m always so ‘googly eyed’ over? Well, that would be Dean.” Cas said closing his eyes in preparation for her response.

“Dean?! Oh my God! But he’s like your best friend! Does he know?” Luci’s voice was getting excitedly loud. 

“Would you be quiet!” Cas snapped at her. “No he doesn’t know!” Cas calmed down a bit. “If he did know he probably wouldn’t be my friend anymore…”

“Oh Cassy, you don’t know that.” Luci put her arm around his shoulder. “You never know. He might even be-”

“Don’t.” Cas warned. Every day all he did was suppress any hopes that Dean could possibly return the feelings he had for him. 

Luci and Cas continued to talk about the subject, like when Cas first realized he was gay and when he first met Dean. He didn’t let her give him any false hopes or let her convince him that he should tell Dean the truth. It would be easier for them to just stay the way they were then for him to completely ruin their relationship and completely lose him. Cas would just have to live with it.


End file.
